2020 was quite a ride…am I right?! I honestly would have never guessed in a million years that it would take a whole pandemic to light a fire under my ass to actually make reality the things I’ve only daydreamed about. But I guess God really does work in mysterious ways and it’s really up to us to hear his voice in our lives and take action when he calls on us to do so. So here I am, it’s 2021 and I am not entirely sure that I officially launched my business, but I can tell you that, I am officially doing business as The Tipsy Creative and I’m officially obsessed with this new journey and officially insane for juggling being a fulltime stay at home mom of 3 boys and being a new business owner. But as the saying goes…nothing EVER happens in your comfort zone.
To keep this super to the point…and I won’t sugar coat it, this shit is HARD but not impossible! As a full-time working mom in my past life (10+ years as a promo video editor) I can assure you that, that gig was so much easier than this one. I can also tell you that, this gig, being my own boss, and creating things that I want to create, and making real connections with my clients is so much more rewarding as well and truly makes every late night and early morning worth it.
As a mom, I know all too well, the guilt and second-guessing that comes with wanting to pursue a goal that you might have. I’ve been there and done that more than once in my life. So, I thought I would take this opportunity to offer up my top 5 tips that will hopefully help you reflect on what you really want and inspire you to take action. If you have small kids like I do (mine are 8, 4, and 2) then I hope this will resonate and give you the support us mama’s need. So here goes nothing.
Tip # 1: GIVE YOURSELF GRACE!
This may just be the most important tip I can offer you, and instead of making it the grand finale of my list, I’m placing it right here, at the top because, well let me keep it real, if anything I write from 1-4, feels like it’s not doable to you, then you might never even bother to get to #5. So, before you get into your own head and get discouraged, I’m here to tell you, GIVE YOURSELF GRACE! You’ve dedicated yourself to your kids, and that is so beautiful, but you are still allowed to have big dreams and set big goals for yourself. And as any parent knows, making time for yourself isn’t the easiest thing to do and sometimes your plans go to shit all together when someone isn’t feeling well or something else happens. That’s just how parenthood goes, but the MOST important thing to remember is this, give yourself grace. You will get there, you will get that business launched, that class finished, that dream income in time…your time. It may take longer than you initially planned, but it will happen, so in the meantime, give yourself grace during the process. Grace is the most precious gift we can give ourselves when we are trying to accomplish BIG THINGS. We cannot be all things at the same time and that it totally OKAY! Stay the course, some days will be super productive, and others might not be. Give yourself grace. Some days you will be laser focused and other days you might just pass out on the couch from exhaustion, GIVE YOURSELF GRACE! The feeling of overwhelm will be there but know that you are doing the best you can, and it is okay to pause, to breathe, to put things aside if you need to. You got this!
Tip #2: Don’t compare your progress with someone who doesn’t have kids.
I hopped on an Instagram live recently and a friend of mine, was speaking with another artist, and she said something that resonated with me SO HARD! She said, “DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANOTHER PERSON WHO ISN’T A PARENT.” And when those words left her mouth the realness of it hit me like a ton of bricks! If you’re a mom, there is just no way that you can even try to compare your progress to someone who has no kids. It’s just not a realistic comparison and you are ultimately setting yourself up to feel horrible. As a mom, we are constantly being pulled in so many directions. We do not always have the opportunity to sketch ideas out for a whole 8-hour day. We have school drop offs, and pick-ups, and sick days, and playdates, and doctors appts, and kids in their feelings and us in our feelings, and house stuff and work stuff, and all the stuff! It’s hard, it’s overwhelming, and sometimes, if you’re anything like me, we only have the hours after our kids’ bedtimes to truly focus our minds on our art or work and by then our nemesis becomes exhaustion. The worst thing you can do, is compare yourself to someone in your field who doesn’t have kids. Just don’t do it girl. And by no means does this mean that we cannot admire and look up to some amazing artists who don’t have kids, but I urge you to admire them, look up to them, but DO NOT COMPARE YOUR PROGRESS TO THEIRS! To tie into tip # 1…Give yourself grace. Your journey, your progress, and your accomplishments, will look different, and be different, and that is TOTALLY OKAY! Do not compare your journey to anyone else’s. Honor the path you are on and embrace all the bumps along the way.
Tip # 3: Discipline is key in all things
So, if you didn’t notice, my top two tips really focus on your mindset as you embark on this new business journey. Mindset is key in all things and once you can recalibrate your mind to focus on abundance over scarcity, it’s time to discipline yourself to show up for your business. And I say discipline not motivation because let’s be real, when is the last time you were always motivated to do something…anything?! Heck, sometimes I’m not even motivated to parent, but as a mom we are just disciplined to show up. So, you have to discipline yourself to show up for yourself and your business as well. Now I know you are probably thinking, WTF Jess?! You just said to give myself grace and now you want me to be disciplined. Yes! I do. Being disciplined does not mean work yourself to the bone and burn yourself out. But rather, it means, to make the MOST of the time you do have and use that time wisely and productively. Motivation is fleeting and often not the key factor in what makes us actually accomplish anything. But discipline, discipline is what keeps you going well after motivation has run its course. You discipline yourself to work out every day, or eat healthy foods every day, or work on your craft every day. You will not always want to do it, but because of discipline, because you know if you keep at this (whatever it is) progress and results will happen, that is why you get it done. So, I encourage you to practice discipline, in all areas of your life, but to start, pick something small, something doable, like practicing your lettering for 20 minutes every day. Make it a must, even when you don’t want to do it (but you know you have that time blocked to do it), and watch it make all the difference. Find the space in your days that will work for you and make a date with yourself. Promise YOURSELF, you will show up!
Tip # 4: Trust the process
I can’t take full credit for this gem either. I owe this one to my fitness coach who literally says this to me a few times every week. TRUST THE PROCESS JESS! Starting your own business is HARD. There is just so much information to download into your head, and so many opinions on how to do everything. It can be very overwhelming. But the biggest advice I can give you here is to trust yourself and trust the process. When I first decided to start my business, I wanted to do all the things literally at the same time. I was INSANE! I was overwhelmed and kept comparing myself and my progress to literally everyone around me, and I was driving myself crazy. And do you know what happened? I will tell you, NOTHING! I wanted so badly to rush and do all the things, that I ended up not completing any one thing. I had to force myself to pause, literally take a deep breath, and remind myself to TRUST THE PROCESS! Some of my online mentors have been doing this for YEARS, and I was here expecting to do it all in a month! Again, insane, I know. I had to remind myself that I am on my own journey, and it will unfold itself in due time. I need to trust the process, focus on doing one thing at a time and believe that it will all get done when it’s time to.
Tip #5: Embrace this crazy ride and have some fun!
Starting your own business is scary, overwhelming, emotional, draining, and can make you want to give up like literally every other day. I say this from experience. One of the things I TRY to do every time I am feeling all the negative feelings is to pause and remind myself that I am worth the investment, this is a journey, an adventure that I believe in so much and love to do. I want to continue to grow and share this art and when I am feeling down, I try to focus on that feeling. Every single person I have spoken to that has been in their business for a while has made a thousand and one mistakes, and I try to remember that when I feel like I’m failing like a champ, it doesn’t mean I suck, it means I am learning and growing. So, my final tip to you is, EMBRACE THE CRAZY! Embrace every learning opportunity, learn from each client experience. Your mistakes that you will inevitably make do not define the longevity of your business, you and your commitment to yourself do. If owning a business was easy, everyone would be their own boss. So, embrace how fucking bad ass you are for even trying and putting yourself and your art out there. HAVE FUN! Create some pieces that make you happy and take each hiccup along the way as a sign that you are headed in the right direction!
I hope one or all of these tips resonate with you, and keep you lifted during the lows of business life. These are definitely my go-to’s for when I am feeling down in the dumps. I also encourage you to share this article with a fellow business friend who you think might need to hear it because sharing is caring!!
If you have any questions, feel free to comment in the comment section or shoot me a message I would LOVE to hear from you!!!
Xo, jess